Marriage is all about Trust, Caring and Sharing

Of course we are parents now, but we still celebrate the day we met, which is more important to us than our marriage anniversary.

It was a cool summer full moon night and I was on the terrace of my building strolling after dinner, with my sister. He walked in with my neighbor unexpected. It was not love at first sight. However, something inside me wanted to know this man better, talk to him. Days passed, I didn’t see him and neither did he call me. The uneasiness grew inside me, something which I didn’t expect. After a while when I met, I had mixed feelings of anger and happiness. Confused at my own feelings, I was blissful to see him and angry that he didn’t show any signs of missing me when I thought about him the entire while.

In the following days, we went out along with our common friends a lot. Never alone! He kind of played cool all this while and the bond of friendship between us became stronger.

One evening, my mother invited him for dinner. He came, at the dinner table he suddenly blurted out to my mother that she should teach me to cook as he plans to marry me one day. We all were stumped, atleast my mom was. She was taken aback by his bold attitude to speak his heart out in front of many people present. But later my mother confided that she considered him to be a man with a clear heart.

That night I was warned by my elders to take things easy as we both were just 17 years old then and we had to concentrate on our education…

Since then my feelings for him had become deeper. My way of looking at life had taken a new turn I knew that I was here on this earth just for him and frankly I was not bothered about marriage and how or where all this would take us.

Our families were of different caste he being a Gujarati and I a Maharashtrian, but my family did not object. However, his family acted reserved. I still don’t know the real reason behind their behaviors. It could have been the caste issue or love marriage.

All this did not bother us at all; we were enjoying our days to the most whenever together, as he had to finish his college outside Mumbai. When we think of them today, especially when we revisit the places which were once our meeting haunts, those were the most beautiful days of my life. Let me tell you nothing has changed for me, from that day till date, we are still the same people with some grey hair and a little extra weight. Of course we are parents now, but we still celebrate the day we met, which is more important to us than our marriage anniversary. We still enjoy all the movies, places and music together with the routine arguments!

However, we have never slept over arguments; it’s a waste of time when you know that you have to spend all your life with this person. No point in getting angry or ignoring your partner. Life is too short and nobody knows what is in store so just shower all your love and be loved in return. This applies to all relations on earth.

I believe that marriages are made in Heaven, but one has to work on it very hard. It is a delicate relation where one has to get engulfed in its happiness but not so much as to get choked. Every relation needs space and marriage is not an exception. Lucky are those who marry the one they love but luckier are those who marry and then fall in love.

I am grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful life and an excellent human being to share it with. Today I can say all this proudly because I shall be completing 25 years of marriage.

Source: simplymarryzine.com

General Tips for a Muslim Wedding

By Samana Siddiqui, SoundVision Foundation, Bridgeview, Illinois

There are plenty of things to consider in wedding planning and arrangement. These are a few things which are either unknown or forgotten:

1. Invite the poor

According to one Hadith, the worst meal is the feast of a Walima in which rich people are invited and poor people are left out. Don't let your Walima be a class-based affair. Make sure that all guests are welcome, regardless of their economic situation.

2. Invite a multiethnic audience

Make your wedding party more representative of the Ummah (the worldwide Muslim community) by inviting Muslims of different ethnic backgrounds, whether it's the local Imam and his family who are Turkish, the African-American Muslima who accepted Islam recently or the Lebanese family in your neighborhood.

3. Practice gender privacy at your wedding

This means providing women-only space where sisters who observe different levels and types of Hijab feel comfortable. Most sisters like to dress up for a wedding, but they want to enjoy themselves without being watched by strange men. Also remember that your other guests have nothing to lose with this kind of set up so in the end, providing for women-only space works out for the best for everyone. There are different ways to accommodate women-only space in a hall. You can have separate rooms for men and women. This is the ideal solution for maximum privacy.
You can have a room in which there is a curtain or a row of tall plants.
In larger halls, you can make two distinct areas.
If your family tradition is not to have weddings arranged in this way, consider this: you will Insha Allah (if Allah wills) receive Allah's blessings if you do so for seeking to accommodate your guests and trying to observe an Islamic practice which has been in place for about 1400 years.

In programs where women-only space is provided, children need to be divided up between parents. Older boys should stay with their dads. Older girls stay with mom. Young girls who are toilet trained can also go with dad.

It should also be remembered that professional photographers can violate the privacy of individuals by taking photos or videos without their consent. If you are taking photos or videos make sure not to include non-relatives or those who do not want their picture taken.

4. Set up a hospitality line

This is a line of hosts who will welcome guests when they arrive at the wedding. Those who will be included in the hospitality line need to be told in advance that they will be part of it. They should not be told once they reach the hall for the wedding.

5. Have the hosts make rounds during dinner

When guests are digging into dinner, hosts should go around, making sure everyone has what they need and inviting those who are finished to take more.

source: zawaj.com

Marriage: Purpose and Obligation

Definition of Marriage

Nikah is an Arabic term used for marriage. It means "contract" ("aqd in Arabic). The Quran specifically refers to marriage as "mithaqun ghalithun," which means "a strong covenant".

"...and they have taken a strong pledge (mithaqun ghalithun) from you?" (Quran 4:21)
The seriousness of this covenant becomes obvious when one finds the same tern i.e., Mithaqun Ghalithun, being used for the covenant made between Allah and the Prophet before granting them the responsibility of the Prophethood. (Quran 33:7)

The Quran also uses the Arabic word "Hisn" suggesting "fortress" for marriage. Marriage is considered the fortress of chastity.
The Purpose of Marriage. As a meaningful institution, marriage has two main purposes:

1. To ensure preservation of the human species and continuation of the human race,

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord, who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude of men and women" (Quran: 4:1)
2. To provide spiritual and legal foundation of the family,
"And of His Signs is this: He created for you mates from yourself that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)
Through Marriage, the conjugal relationship between a man and a woman becomes lawful. It provides a legitimate outlet for recreation as well as procreation. Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences.
"Your women are a tilth for you so go to your tilth as you will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that you will (one day) meet him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad)." (Quran 2:223)
Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.
Marriage: A Religious Requirement

Marriage in Islam is recommended as a religious requirement. "Marry those among you who are single and (marry) your slaves, male and female, that are righteous" (Quran 24:32)
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) declared:
"When the servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half the (responsibilities laid on him by the) faith; so let him be God conscious with respect to the other half". (Mishkat)
Marriage has also been commended as the way of the prophets.
"We indeed sent messengers before you (O Muhammad), and We assigned them wives and children". (Quran 13:38) Marriage, in fact, is specifically considered the tradition (sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) when he declared:
"Marriage is my Sunnah, whoever disregards my (sunnah) path is not from among us". (ibn Majah)
Islam discourages celibacy and encourages marriage, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) recommended:
"Whoever is able to marry, should marry". (Bukhari)

source: zawaj.com